I'm Back!

No posts in awhile! Shocker, since my business of therapy/counseling is growing at such a rapid rate and days I feel like I am drowning to keep balance (so the blogging had to go for a season).

You see, tragedy surrounds me in my profession. People ask me EVERYDAY, how do you do this job? How do you hear such pain and tragedy?

This is why:

This week I strategically watched a mother, father, brother, and grandmother; paying close attention to every detail of their movements so that I could gather any ways in which I could help them. The bargaining, pleading, disbelief looks, immense pain, and when the tragedy became a reality, I watched them say goodbye. The images of that day haunt me at one moment, at the other, give me such peace.

"The other side of the tracks" in my profession is sitting along a mother whose "rap sheet" looks so incredibly sick. How could she allow this to happen to her children? How could she do this to her children? Why would she hurt them in this way? These are the people that most say do NOT deserve a chance to become better, they should go to jail, be locked up, are disgusting. I have always said that God has given me the ability to see the "good" in people. Today, I realized that these are the parts of Jesus that have been covered by the scars of their life. What a blessing to help people see the Jesus within themselves.

You see, I am MADE for this job. God has MADE me to bless each one of these people with hope, and I tell you, I KNOW MY GIFT! Every time, I get a thank you, I am reminded that it is them who I owe the thanking to. These courageous people who allow me into the depths of their pain.

I am BEGGING that you see the Jesus in People and Lend them a Hand to Help HEAL their scars......

Trial-to-Fruit

I blog for multiple reasons, with one of those being expression of how I feel. In my line of work, I come home with so many stories I want to share to help me, but I am unable, to protect the people I work with. I get asked all the time, "How do you do your job?" The answer, "I don't know"., but the real answer is "Only by the Grace of God".

Recently I watched someone speak about losing two of the most powerful people in their lives wihtin months of each other. It STRUCK me! Sometimes these "stories" harden my heart, sometimes I want to sob with them, and sometimes I endure their pain physically, where the only thing I want to do is vomit.

Years ago, I endured a very painful loss and I spent over a year, all alone, driving many nights, long hours with my little toddler asleep in the back seat because I had no energy to take care of him. I would finally tire and find myself on the top of a hill, listening to Christian music, and hysterically sobbing. I was all alone, but was I? NO!! God has always been with me and continues to be with me. He never leaves me....if anyone leaves it is me.

I came across this daily devotional the other day:

[Every Christian is either learning, or getting ready to learn, through trials. Fortunately, when we experience difficult times, God says they will be used for good (Rom. 8:28). This is especially comforting when the problems encountered are no fault of our own. God is always in control of every situation and uses the more difficult ones to produce fruit in our lives: John 15:2 ". . . every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it, that it may bear more fruit."]

My point is that as I listened recently to this person's speak about their trial, I was able to reflect on my (above) past trial and see that God has been bearing fruit within me and teaching me. Although, I would rather take that trial away, God has used it for GOOD!

I had the opportunity to speak of God with this person and I long for the day when they can feel this peace in their soul with their trial.

Lord, please grant them peace this evening as I know their scab was ripped off and their wound exposed. Hold them in Your arms as they lay next to the grave, clinching the grass as the soil digs deep in their fingernails, body limp, almost lifeless, as they wish nothing more than to touch them again, smell them again, kiss them again, run their fingers through their hair again, taste their tears again, to be alive again.

Loss and trials mark an imprint in your life. Although life will never be the same again, God says He will prune our branches, so that we may bear more fruit.

God is Good,Grand, and Powerful!

That pretty much sum it up for me

My Heart Aches....

So I went from being TOTALLY annoyed tonight.....to the complete opposite of an aching heart. Work was rough with a baby not doing well, then to be reminded of my pastor's family (with still no update of how they are doing), then to being reminded of our friend's Jerritt and Hailey's daughter Tatum needed heart surgery (PLEASE PRAY FOR THEM), then to reading about baby Stellan in the PICU with SVT, then to reading my SIL, Jenn's blog to see another baby Bentley not doing well.

I must trust that God has a plan for all of these, even if it does not align with my desires. I ask myself daily, "Why are we so fortunate that we get two beautiful, healthy boys?" It is something that I cannot wrap my mind around.

I am guilty of falling trap to the negativity of this world, but then I am urgently reminded that there are many others that need our prayer and that our Almighty God has the Ultimate Plan.....so I must trust in Him.

Have a wonderful night and remember to tell those around you that you love them!! For those of you close in my life, I love you!

God working in our lives....

Chris and I continue to grow in our marriage and I thank God above for being the foundation for us. In the past if I did not get my way, I would push or bully to get it.....why because I felt my way was the most logical! These past few months, I have been humbled to allow God to do the work in my husband, thus the work in me. For example, just last Friday, Chris and I disagreed on something pretty important to me. In the past, I might have stated my case in a million different ways to show that my way must be the right way to do something (I know, not logical thinking, right). Instead, I had to run an errand and prayed to God that I was to allow Chris to be the spiritual leader in our household and that I would support his decision.....even though I knew that my way would be obedient to God. Upon my return home, Chris had stated that as a family we needed to be obedient to God and that he agreed with my decision.

The moral of the story is not that the decision went my way, (believe me, there are plenty of times when this was not the case). It is however, that I have learned to allow my husband to be the spiritual leader of the household as well as let go and let God be the guidance in our marriage. I must say that from what I know.......I feel truly blessed to have Chris as my husband. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with him!